Thursday, November 22, 2018

No Sighting the Yellow Spur

I've done a few climbing routes (Yellow Spur, Bastille Crack, First Flatiron, etc.) so many times that I've asserted, jokingly, that I could climb them blindfolded. Of course I wasn't serious and it was only an indication of how well I knew these routes. I knew each hold, each foot placement, and the exact sequences of moves. But seeing someone climb a route that they don't know, without sight, is something altogether different.

Erik and Connor just above the first-pitch roof
As I watched Erik Weihenmayer, a world-famous blind adventurer/writer/speaker, feel his way up the 5.7 third pitch of the Yellow Spur, I calculated that it was the equivalent of climbing 5.10. He can't see the better hand placements near to where he's crimping a micro-edge. He can feel with this hands and remember the foothold locations, but mainly of the larger sizes. If the footwork is subtle edges, he has to smear. A move that a sighted climber can quickly execute and get off his arms and back onto his feet, takes Erik much longer. Yet, he's climbed the Naked Edge. He probably has 5.13 climbing strength, as does his business and frequent adventure partner, Connor Koch.

I teamed up with these two to climb the Yellow Spur. I met Connor earlier this year when a small group of us Minions scrambled by him and his buddy on the First Flatiron. He knew of the Minions and we got to talking and he amazingly remembered that I knew Erik, as we'd done one bike ride about five years ago (on his tandem). I'd been hooked up with Erik via our mutual friend Hans Florine, but after that one outing we fell out of touch. Connor got us back together.
Connor Koch at the top of the third pitch
We met in Eldo at noon. Already that should have been cause for concern. It's dark at 5 p.m. this time of year. I packed a headlamp. Connor forgot his. Erik...well, he didn't see the point. The trail was hard-packed snow and ice. I pulled on my Microspikes and Erik pulled out a cheap off-brand pair, which I think were Connor's. Connor just skated along with the agility of a young person.

Watching Erik hike along a very technical, rocky trail, coated in ice made me wonder if he's truly blind. I said as much to him and he came clean. He can see, but will only admit to it until after he retires from climbing, kayaking, bullet catching, etc. He knows he had good thing going. Erik taps along with his trekking poles faster than any of the tourists in Eldo. He didn't trip. He didn't fall. He didn't stumble. I think I did all three.

Erik isn't perfect though. He has terrible fear of heights. He only climbs because of the huge advantage he has of not being able to see. Think of all those poor acrophobic sighted people. Probably potential world-class climbers like Erik, if it wasn't for their damn eyes. Sure, one could use a blindfold, but they'd undoubtedly be hounded by cries of cheating, akin to those from using oxygen on Everest.
Erik belaying Connor on the fourth pitch
Also, I'm pretty sure Erik is terrified of bears. Connor hikes along in front of him holding a bell in his hand and periodically rings it, apparently to assure Erik that no ursine creatures are nearby. Connor will occasionally give directions to Erik about the upcoming terrain: "off-camber slope here", "funky rocks ahead", "branch on your right - watch your head." But not for everything. At one point I noticed a big boulder in front of Erik and asked Connor, "Aren't you going to mention that?" "No," he responded, "you can't coddle him too much. He'll figure it out."

Indeed Erik does figure things out. He never asks for help to do anything. He know exactly where all his gear is and how to use it all. When we stopped to spike up, he peeled off the pack, reached directly into his pack, pulled out the spikes, felt around for their orientation, pulled them on and had his pack back on practically before I did. Gearing up, we just hand him the end of the rope and he ties in. He cleans gear, anchors at belays, sets up and rappels without any assistance, pulls the rope, coils, etc.

While he never asks for help and hardly ever needs it, he is appreciative of any information you give him. He never says, "I don't need help." Never says, "I can do it on my own." He doesn't need to assert his independence. When you've done what he's done (he kayaked the Grand Canyon and the film made about this just won the Grand Prize at the Banff Film Festival), you don't need to tell anyone what you can do. Instead, he's thankful and appreciative. He makes you feel good for helping him. When I climbed with him on one pitch, I gave as much direction as I could (frequently getting his rights and lefts reversed), but his speed of climbing seemed independent of my instructions. When I paused to clean a piece of gear, he'd climb up into me. If he doesn't get any hints about the terrain, he just keeps climbing. It might take longer to search out a solution, but I never heard him once ask for a tip.

We climbed with two 70-meter ropes. That's one giant potential mess and it motivated me to belay only at ledges. I led the first pitch, which is incredibly circuitous. It goes like this: up twenty feet to a roof, traverse 90-degrees to the left underneath it to some jugs, then turn 90-degrees again to go up, above the roof turn 90-degrees back to the right and traverse the lip, then up 45 degrees to the belay at a tree. Pulling almost 500 feet of rope up that was arduous, but watching Erik cruise the burly 5.9 roof with minimal vocal help from Conner made it seem fun.
Connor and Erik climbing the last pitch. 
I linked the next two pitches (5.8 and 5.7) and set up a belay from four cams. Following this nearly 200-foot stretch took some time, though probably about average for most climbers of the Yellow Spur. I watched the sun get closer to the very high horizon and regretted leaving my headlamp at the base of the route. That was dumb. When Connor and Erik arrived I suggested we switch to the easier finish, up Icarus. They were both game and we avoided a mini-epic. We did a short traverse pitch over to the Red Ledge below the upper part of the Dirty Deed Chimney. Connor led a long pitch here up the route called Daedalus. He belayed from a tree 200-feet up and Erik and I climbed up to him.
I led a short pitch to the top of the wall, intersecting the arete descent from the top of T1 (where the Yellow Spur ends) and immediately descended left to the notch and the rappel anchor there. From there we did a 70-meter rappel back to the Red Ledge, then traversed north on the Red Ledge to the bolted rappel anchors at the top of the second pitch of the Dirty Deed. Another rappel here (less than 60 meters) put us back on the ground, just as it got dark.

What a great mini-adventure with two incredible people. We hit it off well, but I think these two would get along with anyone. They are just so positive, so pleasant, and so very capable. We vowed to return and start a bit earlier in order to complete the entire Yellow Spur. I'm going to talk them climbing with a hundred foot rope and do a bit of simul-climbing, if necessary.  I suspect that won't bother Erik in the slightest.

Sunday, October 21, 2018


My best friend Mark Oveson moved away from me. Moved away from Boulder. Moved away from Colorado. It was traumatic. Even for him! Alas, he moved to a super cool location: Provo, Utah. Super cool if you're a Mormon, which he is, since it is 95% Mormon there. Even better, at least from an atheist-climber perspective, is that he lives one mile away from a 22-pitch 5.11a sport climb. TWENTY...TWO...PITCHES! This route is called Squawstruck because it ascends the south face of Squaw Peak. While I vowed to visit him often and keep the bond of our friendship ever strong, when I heard about this route, I felt the bond needed immediate strengthening. So I booked my flight.

I booked my flight despite not having a partner for the climb. I hope Mark will eventually climb it with me, but he wasn't ready for it. Truth be told, I wasn't really ready for it. Mark solved both problems by not only supplying a partner, but a rope gun of the assault weapon level that most states want to ban and Utah celebrates. Here the weapon was Jared Campbell.

If you don't know who Jared Campbell is...well, that's okay. Time to learn. He's the hardman's hardman. His full CV of bad-assery would fill volumes and put sufficient wear on my keyboard. He is at the very pinnacle of the outdoor/adventure athlete hierarchy. Climbing? 5.13, thank you. Sendero Luminoso? Yes, please. He won Hard Rock. He's finished the Barkley...twice. He's linked a week's worth of the toughest Zion slot-canyon descents in under 24 hours. He started the RUFA series of races and is the RD for the Salt Lake edition. He's superman in the mountains. He's Stefan-Griebel-esque. But most important in this particular situation, is that he's Mark's friend. Mine too, now. 

I flew out Friday night, taking almost exactly as long to fly, house-to-house, as it would have taken me to drive. Delta Airlines. Not a fan. Because of my late arrival (to bed around 1 a.m.), we decided to do the climb on Sunday. That left Saturday to hike up Y Mountain with Mark and two of his daughters. Mark and his wife Trish, being Mormon and all, are fecund. They have three of each (just two genders in Utah - it's almost like visiting a foreign country). 

Doing anything with Mark's kids is an exercise in humility. JD (short for Jelly Donut, at least to me. Geraldine to others, like her parents, siblings, and everyone besides me) is the second fastest freshman cross-country runner in the entire state of Utah. I guess because she's only the second fastest is why she stays so humble. You wouldn't even know she ran by talking to her, but looking at her long legs you'd notice potential. And she sucks at running compared to her ability on the piano. Or singing. Or really useful things like memorizing the digits of pi (she knows 200). 

Along with JD, Alice joined us. I used to think that Mark's daughter Mallory was the sweetest, friendliest, happiest person I'd ever met, but she's downright surly compared to Alice. Alice is recently back from an 18-month mission in Italy. She's now fluent in Italian. I'm barely fluent in English. Along with a bunch of community service, Alice tutored kids in Italian! She re-starts at BYU in January, studying Applied Math. You go, girl.
Jared leading the first pitch via headlamp.

We started early, from Mark's house because he lives at the base of Y Mountain. It's called Y Mountain because there is a giant Y painted on it. Before the Y it was just called Mountain, so it's much easier to identify now. The Y is for Young. Steve Young, I assume, since he was a star quarterback at BYU and the 49ers and is in the Hall of Fame. So, you know, probably deserves to have a mountain named after him. A classic first date for BYU couples is to hike up to the Y, which is less than halfway to the summit, but the trail up to the Y is wide and smooth and ridiculously steep. Alice says it is a true test of whether you have any chance of being a couple. If you hike together to the Y without any whining, then there is hope. If not, break-up immediately. Alice has done this more than once. If her prospective suitor can't keep up with her and not whine about it, she cuts them loose. Reminded me of my wife's rule with suitors asking her to play tennis. If you didn't beat her, you didn't get a date. I squeaked out a victory. Lucky for me. And for Danny and Derek! 

It took us two hours to hike the 3000 vertical feet to the summit. Mark continues to have serious pain with his now-fused left ankle. An amazing mountain endurance athlete before the infection in his ankle, Mark is still searching for a solution. Yet, he never complains about it. Never offers up any excuses. He just guts it out. And then limps for a few days. Ugh. I wish I could help him solve this problem. But I can't. 
Jared following a pitch low on the route.
The rest of the day I spent eating, watching a movie, and reading. Now if you asked the members of Mark's family what I was doing they'd say: eating, watching a movie, and sleeping, but they just don't know that when I read a book it looks a lot like sleeping. No fault of theirs. Just inexperience with my unusual ways.

Jared arrived at the house around 10 p.m. He was bigger than I thought he'd be. A little bit taller than me. He wore shorts and his calves revealed the fact that he can climb 40,000 vertical feet in a single day. I didn't want to stand too close to him for fear that anyone else would be comparing us, but I did try to suck in my gut a bit, just in case. 

We got up at 5:30 a.m. and I started having a bowl of cereal when Mark walked into the kitchen offering to make me eggs and bacon. Dammit, Mark! Get up earlier if you going to be offering such service. That just meant I had cereal and eggs. He even bought donuts for me to take up the climb. Lack of fuel was not going to be a valid excuse. 

Mark walked the start of the approach with us before we peeled off to scratch and scramble our way up a very steep, loose slope. If it wasn't for Jared having the GPS coordinates in his mapping app on his phone, I'd still be looking for the start of the climb. Shortly into the approach, wanting to see more of the terrain for route-finding purposes, I bumped up the intensity of my Fenix headlamp. If this headlamp worked like its specs said it does, it would be so awesome. Alas, it doesn't. The headlamp promptly died and wouldn't turn on at any intensity. That was after a full charge the night before. I'm done with this headlamp. This was my second one. Both lemons. I had to do the rest of the approach with my phone as my light. Scrambling up this tricky terrain with one hand was probably the most dangerous part of the day.

We were at the start and it was still dark. Jared offered me the first lead. It's 10b - a stiff grade for me...when I can see. I'm not known for my night vision. I'm known for my lack of night vision. I declined and Jared styled the first pitch via headlamp, scanning for the bolts in his beam. I followed easier than I expected and wondered if this whole climb was overrated. Or if I was stronger than I thought. Nope and nope.
Jared heading up the 10c pitch by the cave at the start of the crux tier.
The second pitch starts with the "Leap of Faith" where you jump from the slightly detached pillar we had just climbed to the wall behind it. Or you can just make a two-foot step across and avoid the jumping. Jared and I both watched a video of this jump on youtube. We were a bit dumbfounded by it now. I scampered up the 5.8 pitch to the top of the rock and we hiked up to the next band.

Squawstruck is 22 pitches long, but the pitches are not completely contiguous. They are broken into six separate tiers, with some short hiking between. We hiked up to the next tier and, in an effort to move faster, Jared then linked the next three pitches in a massive 200-foot lead, climbing pitches of 5.9, 10b, and 5.9. Impressive. I followed and found the climbing super fun and was pretty comfortable on it. I was working, but not on the verge of falling off. My confidence built.

Image result for squawstruck topo
Squawstruck (22 pitches, 5.11a) on Squaw Peak
I led pitch six, at 10c the hardest pitch yet. It went well. I was breathing hard, but hung on. Cool movement and nothing tricky. Jared linked two more pitches (two 10a's) and we did a small hike to the next tier. The next tier had three pitches: 5.8, 10a, 5.8 and we pitched it out due to the their length. We were moving pretty continuously and didn't have time to savor any belay ledges, of which most pitches had. The follower quickly moved into the next lead at each change-over.

We then arrived at the true meat of the route. The next tier was five pitches long, all 5.10b or harder, with three 10d or 11a. Jared led a 10c and I followed clean and led a 10c/d. All good. Jared styled the crux pitch to a near hanging belay. It looked tricky as Jared had paused there a bit and sussed things out. On my turn I climbed easily up to the crux, which is at the very end of the pitch. There I was stymied by what I thought was the cryptic nature of the climbing. After trying two or three ways, including using Jared's beta I concluded it was more than cryptic. It was hard. Too hard. The crux moved involved using a desperate 2-finger flared jam (yes, a finger jam!) and a terrible sidepull and then moving the left foot up very high to a bullshit foothold. No way. I couldn't touch it. Just too steep on too bad of holds. It seemed way harder than anything we'd climbed up until then. After a few falls, I had Jared take me on tension, and then reached up again for better holds.
Jared at the hanging belay at the top of the crux pitch.
This started a downward trend of performance for me. The next pitch was rated 10b and it had a committing lock-off move on it and I couldn't find good enough footholds to pull it off. I hung on a bolt to rest before finishing that pitch. The pitch after that was rated 10d and probably was the hardest pitch on the route. It started a bit to the climber's right, at a second two-bolt anchor. I had apparently belayed from the rappel anchors, with the chains. Normally there is just one anchor of course, but for ease of rappelling there are two or three spots with duplicate anchors. The wall above the anchor was considerably smoother than anything we had climbed or would climb - just tiny, tiny holds. Jared ticky-tacked and toe-tapped his way up this section and remarked, "Dang. That's pretty hard for 5.10." When it was my turn, I just grabbed the first two draws. I'll be back to this route, probably multiple times due to its proximity (to Mark) and the mess I've left behind.

We did a short hike up to the last tier which consisted of six pitches: 9, 10c/d, 10c, 8, 9+, 10a. I scampered up the first pitch without much trouble, but my feet were starting to kill me. So much so that it was affecting my climbing. At each belay I had to pull them off immediately. Unfortunately, as soon as I put them on again, the pain resumed without delay. 

The next pitch, the 18th, started with a short, but severe roof. It was awkward to get up the eight feet to the start because the roof was completely undercut, but the undercut was only three feet high, so in trying to pull onto the bottom of the undercut my head hit the roof. It wasn't too bad, but awkward. Turning the roof required getting the feet up really high and locking off for one move. Jared cruised it and said, "At least the holds are good." I didn't agree. I couldn't do it. On my first try I failed the lockoff and the rope stretch put me back on the ledge ten feet down. On my second try I got into the same position and yelled up "Take!" I knew he couldn't hold me there completely, but I wanted all the help I could get. I then deadpointed for the draw over the lip and barely caught it. From there the rest of the pitch was pumpy but doable, barely.
Jared updating his social media at the summit of Squawstruck.
At the belay, I knew it was my lead. We'd been swinging leads up until here, but I didn't think I could do it. I was consistently getting my ass kicked on 5.10 since the crux pitch. Jared bailed me out and led a brilliant pitch that went up and left and then hard back to the right. The pitch description in the online guide is apt: "...then back right on desperate and tricky holds." As soon as Jared finished this section he called down, "That was really cool. You're going to love that sequence." Sure enough I did, but I was also glad I wasn't leading it, as once I started to traverse back to the right I was on the ragged edge of falling off clear to the belay. The crux was at the start of the traverse right, but as the moves got gradually easier, my pump built. Some of the climbing was really cryptic. The feet are pretty good here, but widely spaced and the handholds so marginal that it required a lot of balance and body tension. Super neat climbing.

I strung the next two pitches into a monster 200-foot lead so that I didn't have to lead the final 5.10 pitch. The 5.8 pitch went pretty easily but my intense foot pain had me moving slowly. The 5.9+ penultimate pitch had two desperate sections. I found a way around both of them and traversed back into the line above, each time having to skip one bolt. Apparently, I was visibly desperate, as Jared called up some encouragement at one point. Or maybe he was just urging me on to climb faster, as this long lead took forever. My feet hurt and I was getting really tired. I belayed on a small stance and immediately whipped off my shoes. I had just two draws left to clip in.

Jared soon joined me and even he took a slight break from his shoes here. It was the only time he took his shoes off after following a pitch and before his next lead. He was pulling them off after each lead though. Climbing shoes hurt.

The final pitch seemed a bit contrived as a clearly easier path led straight to the top. Instead, the pitch moved out to the right in order to turn a 2-foot roof and then a bulge above. The description is once again right on: "Keep climbing up then right over some roofs with depressingly small holds." One of the bolts on this pitch was drilled straight up into bottom of the roof. It seemed like the first ascensionist wanted to just try placing a bolt like that. Given my state of fatigue and that I'd barely led the 5.9 pitch before this, I was surprised not to fall off this one.
Squaw Peak and Squawstruck
The relief in pulling off my shoes equaled the joy in topping out this route. Huge thanks to Tristan Higbee (hey, I wonder if he is related to Art Higbee of the Higbee Hedral on Half Dome...), Thomas Gappmayer, and Christian Burrell (probably not related to my friends Buzz and Galen) for the ridiculous amount of work that went into establishing this route. What an incredible contribution to the local climbing community. Without Jared, I'm not sure I could have ascended this route. I'll find out in the future. I hope that by standing in a sling I can do the crux. Either that or I'm going to have to get a lot stronger.

Jared and I hiked the 4-mile, 3000-foot descent trail back to the parking lot. We chatted about his family and mine, but most exciting was that we chatted about future climbs together. This was encouraging, as my biggest contribution to this climb was giving Jared belay practice. I hope it happens, but I won't hold him to it.

Being the dumbest, slowest, weakest person in the group could be depressing, but not with this group. It's sort of like being the slowest Minion - you might still be pretty smart, fast, and strong. Might be. No guarantees. But being around them is a bit inspiring and I'm hoping some of it rubbed off on me. 

Thanks Mark, Jared, JD, Alice, Mallory, Trish, Spencer, and Jason for being such gracious hosts. Every one of you is welcome at my fire anytime. 

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Tour de Flatirons: Stage 5

Full Results

What a finish to another incredible Tour. While we had consistently the largest fields this year, today was by far our smallest field, due to weather issues and rescheduling twice. But it was worth the wait. The conditions were nearly perfect, with the extra moisture on the trails, particularly the Woods Quarry trail, providing better traction than when completely dry.

Kyle, like on every stage, went to the front and stayed there. He finishes as only the second person in the 15-year history of the Tour to win all five stages. And he did it convincingly. From stage 1 on, everyone else knew they were racing for second place, even defending Champion, directionally-challenged Cordis Hall and Oats, who ran the day before in much wetter conditions.
Me starting up the Hammerhead.
Jason Gory Killer, handicapped all Tour by having to run stage 1 solo, worked his way up the standings and he finished with a really solid second place in stage 5. He'll likely finish 4th overall in the Tour, but final results aren't in because so many still have to run this stage.

Logan Newguydanus finished third in the stage and will finish second overall in the Tour -- an amazing feat by a rookie and one only matched by Matthias in his debut. Ryan Franz, third in the 2014 and 2015 Tours returned to the podium this year and he finished third in the stage.
Kyle leading the field, as usual

With only 13 scramblers at the start it wasn't hard to determine my competition: Sonia (of course, as always), Corn Muffintop, and JonO. Sonia has been my shadow on all the approaches and generally stays right with me until I either get someone between us or do a fast downclimb or rappel. I've been able to get away from her before the run out. So far, anyway. My biggest rival is really Muffintop. I beat him in stages 1 and 3 and he returned the favor in stages 2 and 4. Generally we were just one place apart. He proclaimed at the start, "I have but one goal. Beat Bill." He had just rolled his ankle on the warm-up, so maybe I had chance. I'd been finishing in front of Jon as well, but we were all super close in our fitness.

The four of us were quickly gaped by the rest of the field. Muffintop led us, but we were all close. A minute or two before the talus I went by Muffintop, but didn't open any gap at all. All four of were within ten seconds of each other. When we hit the Regency the order was me, Muffintop, JonO, and Sonia. Muffintop pulled out a small towel, wiped off the bottom of his shoes and offered it to the rest of us. I wasn't falling for that ploy and pressed, getting a gap at times, but then they would close it down. JonO moved into second place early on the Regency and at times I was holding him up, he was so close behind me. 

I was redlining, but I was now getting close to the summit of the Regency. I knew I had to be in the lead for the West Face of the Royal Arch, as that was a bottleneck. I figured I was could be the slowest runner on the way out and knew I needed a lead if I had any hope of avoiding last place. I had a moment to think about that and thought if I did get last, it would be my first last place finish in a Tour stage without also making the podium.
Derek downclimbing from the top of the Regency with Colin just below him.
I stayed in front by the barest of margins. I felt JonO could have passed me if he really wanted, but if I went any faster, I'd puke. At the top I engaged the only thing I can do faster than my main rivals: downclimb. I don't have the fitness to gap anyone on the run up, the scrambling, or the rundown. All Tour the only advantage I'd get would be in downclimbing and rappelling. There my superior weight was a slight advantage. I gaped JonO on the descent, was a bit slow through the slot, and tried to get out of site on the Royal Arch. No luck. He closed the gap on me. 

Just as I arrived ledge to go through the tunnel Colin downclimbed off the Royal Arch. I followed him up the slags and through the arch and immediately felt another climber behind me. It was Derek. I had got in between these two and I hoped I didn't cause Derek too much time. He'd later report that it was only a few seconds and he caught Colin on the run over to the Hammerhead.
Topping the West Face of Royal Arch

I still had to climb the West Face, though. It went smooth for me and JonO was just twenty feet behind me. I downclimbed fast, though, as usual, and could see David Glennon and The Mountain downclimbing below me. I pushed to increase my lead over my chasers and ran a really good descent over to the Hammerhead. By the time I came through, all the hikers on the trail were well versed about getting out of the way of runners and I wasn't impeded at all. In fact, I was encouraged by a number of the hikers.

I found Sheri at the base of the Hammerhead. As I started up the rock she gave me some encouragement and told me Derek was rocking it. I finally had a decent gap, but it had hurt. I was fading a bit, but gainly steadily on David Glennon above me. Below, it wasn't JonO, but Sonia. And she was gaining. Dammit woman!

I caught David at the top of the Hammerhead and he stepped aside for me to show him the fastest descent, which was down sharply to the north on steep blocks to two huge logs. I was careful here, but quick and gapped David. Jumping off a small ledge further down I slipped and fell back onto my butt, coming to stop straddling a big tree. I had to roll onto my back to swing my leg around it. Back on my feet I zipped down, getting a nice lead on David and hopefully on my rivals.

Halfway down the Woods Quarry Trail, I stepped aside on a switchback and David went by. I stayed as close as I could, using him as a pacer. I was pushing things harder, at least for my limited agility and wimpy ankles. I ran harder down the rocky portion of the Kohler Mesa Trail, keeping David in sight and closing on The Mountain. I hadn't seen him since the Hammerhead. Also, when David caught him, The Mountain knew he was under pressure and he upped his effort. I didn't lose ground, but I didn't gain any more. 
JonO starting up the Hammerhead hot on Sonia's heels.
On the lower switchbacks, thinking I was safe from all rivals and only wondering if I could catch The Mountain, I suddenly see Muffintop on the switchback above me. He even waved at me! A shirtless, Rayban wearing Corn Muffin was bearing down on me. David, a switchback further down, called out encouragement, "Yeah, Bill!" I think he was surprised I was still in sight. I pushed again and was nearly spent by the time I hit the wide flat trail. I eased a bit to avoid puking and thinking there was no way I could hold Muffin off. He came out of nowhere so I assumed he was going much faster than me. When he didn't come by halfway down the road, I switched my mindset. It was now too close to be passed, I upped my effort and my stomach turned. I dry heaved a couple of times. I knew if I could get to the singletrack I'd be nearly impossible to pass. 

The Mountain (in the lead) followed by David Glennon, Sonia, JonO, and Muffintop on the left. I must be behind the tree.
I got the turn and didn't hear footsteps, but the effort had been too much and I hurled a little. It was well worth it. I held off the Muffin by 20 seconds, which was a lot more than I thought I had. It was desperately important too, because with my finishing place, we ended up tied on points for the Tour, both with 92 (Kyle won the Tour with 5 points). The tiebreaker is total time. Muffin had completed all five stages in 5:08:32. I did them in 5:07:46. That'll do. All that for what will probably be around 20th place. We all have our battles in the Tour...

David Glennon chasing me at the start of the Woods Quarry Trail

Derek's report:

Goals for the day we’re to beat Erik S’s wet and solo time and beat Colin mano-a-mano. I beat him on the Angels Way stage but only due to route error, so I wanted a legit victory. He had been up at Longs Peak this morning doing crazy ice things, so I thought I had a shot!
I stayed right on Colin for a ways running up the approach, but eventually left him to try to bank some time for when he got to the rock. Once we were there, the train of scramblers ahead of me were going left, so I just followed them even though I’d never gone that way before. Just so much easier than finding a route myself.. haha. Colin and Stefan said the same thing and followed me that way.
Stefan and Colin caught and passed me at the one section of the left variation that was tricky. I wanted to stay high at the traverse into the slot/chimney, but it was too thin. I waved the others by and they descended just a bit before it got easier. I fell in line.
Stefan stretched a gap on Colin and me and caught DG at the summit. They both downclimbed the face to the easy walkoff while Colin and I went over the top. We both got by DG a little bit later with no issues (DG is so cool about that).
Stefan has a nice gap given his ridiculous downclimbing abilities and Colin gapped me just a bit up RA. We were basically together at the West Face though. I stopped here for just a tiny bit and felt a wave of nausea come up. I was working hard!! I’d have to keep it together if I wanted to stay with Colin.
Downclimbing RA, we were right together but what would you know: my dad got right in between us! It was actually pretty cool and it slowed me up maybe 3 seconds, so no big deal.
I caught back up to Colin on the RA trail and he tried to wave me by but I said no. I knew I’d be ahead of him for 10 feet once we started uphill, and that would be too demoralizing! So I stayed on his butt.
He gapped me just a bit on Hammerhead too, as usual. I caught up to him right before we hit the trail again and now I started thinking about my final move.
Colin gifted a slight error a bit further down Woods Quarry and I capitalized, passing him and trying to push hard before he could get on my wheel. He even made a noise of effort to keep up. We were close for a ways but I stretched my gap and didn’t see him again.
Near the Kohler Mesa junction I caught a glimpse of Derek #2 (“hey number 2” —Scrubs :)) and was remotivated! I pushed hard down to Skunk but didn’t seem to reel him in at all... huh... it was almost as if HE was pushing hard too!! Unfair!
I kept pushing but came up short. He got me by 30ish seconds.
Goals were 2/2 today!! Erik’s 50:something wet solo time is super impressive though...

Wednesday, October 03, 2018

Tour de Flatirons: Stage 4


I love scrambling on Dinosaur Mountain because there are so many great rocks so close together. Stage 4 of the Tour took place there and linked the most rocks we've ever done in a single stage: five. We started with Tiptoe Slab on the Front Porch and then ran over to Der Zerkle and did Sunnyside II which leads directly to the East Face of the Hand. After the tricky downclimb (an exposed, awkward ramp or a super tight, on-your-belly tunnel) you're at the Fi Fun on FI in just a minute. From the summit of FI we had our only mandatory rappel (Front Porch was fixed with two lines as well and people split on downclimbing versus rappelling). Once on the ground it was not much more than a minute before we were scrambling up the South Ramp of the Box. After a neat downclimb to the east, then north, then west, it was a long run back to the start.

Kyle ran off the front, crushed everyone and won the race. Same old, same old. But things were interesting and exciting back where I was racing...

The climbing on the Hand and FI is a bit tricky and I expected to do well here and either drop my rivals or gain on climbers I'm not usual near, like David Glennon. I was wrong. Instead I raced two guys that I have buried early in past stages: Backpack Brian and The Spy. Of course Sonia was there too, but that goes without saying. The last time we had a techy stage I was able to stay up with Sir Crimps-alot, David the Near Great, David Glennon, and close to Ryan Marsters. I had hopes that this would be a similar stage. Dang it. Wrong again. My hopes never die. I guess 'never' is a long time, but one good result seems to fuel my hope for entire Tour.

As is my role these days, I soon led the last group. All four or five us battling it out to avoid the Lanterne Rouge. For this stage that included my shadow (Sonia) and Tony. Tony fell back before we got to the Front Porch, but I caught two others that would stuck on me like stink on a warthog: Backpack Brian and The Spy. Backpack is solid, obviously, as that is a requirement of the Minions, but still I don't like that he races with a chalk bag. It's not my natural aversion to chalk, but that he needs it to feel secure. If you need chalk to feel secure, then I think maybe you shouldn't be racing. Sure, for scrambling, but racing? These need to be easy enough where the crutch of chalk isn't necessary.

Regardless, I couldn't shake these two. Three. I didn't think I could match any of them on the run out  and I tried hard to gap them. I pushed really hard to the top of the Front Porch, then eschewed the fixed lines to use my secret weapon: super fast downclimbing. I put some space behind me, all three were on me before I got to Der Zerkle. The super steep trail up to the start of this rock nearly broke me. I think I got passed by Backpack or the Spy or both on Der Zerkle, but I got them back on the Hand. They fell in behind me and ended up showing them all my secrets on this rock. It fell to the descent, once again, and here I had another secret weapon - my exposed, awkward scoot section. I executed that blazed over to FI and before I knew it Backpack and the Spy were on me. Sonia was gapped, but these two were even a greater worry for the run out.

At the top of FI there was a queue for the rappel lines. I was thankful for the rest. I didn't have a gap on these guys, so having to wait for a line wasn't a disadvantage. Sonia closed ranks, but she'd have to wait for a line, so even though she was standing just feet from me, I was effectively at least 40 seconds ahead of her. On the rappel lines were DC and the Little Monster. LM rapped really fast and I grabbed his line, the one I knew allowed me to rappel right off the end of the rope once on the ground. I blazed down the line and caught DC. When he made a minor route finding error, I got in front of him and called out directions to follow me.

At the Box I was running scared now. I had a sizeable gap on all my chasers and needed to get out of sight. DC was on me, but I wasn't worried about him. I'd never hold him off to the finish, but having him in between me and others could only help matters. I scampered up the South Ramp on the Box and somehow dropped DC. I saw the Little Monster descending from the top as I ascended the last bit. I tagged the top and descended down and off the rock, only seeing DC as a chaser.

Halfway down to the Mallory Cave I stepped aside and let DC pass. I used him as a carrot and tried to keep him in sight. He didn't know that the descent via the climbers' trail against Der Zerkle was on course, so I once again got ahead of him there. I didn't hold him off for long, though, as he passed me before I could get down to the Mesa Trail. I suffered into the finish, looking over my shoulder for any chasers. None appeared. Once again, my only advantage was in the descents. It was enough on this day to avoid being the caboose, but I'm getting closer and closer to the tip of the tail.

Fun stuff!

Derek's Report:

Crazy fun as always. 56:50+1 (huge sorry to Dan and whoever was below me on the hand. Plate of rock dislodged, and I didn't even see/notice it when stepping). I was further behind the people I usually want to keep up with (Erik, Colin, Stefan, etc.), but everyone is so darn fast! I didn't have everything today, but it's so fun racing everyone who was around me (Mt. Vinson, DG, Sir Crimps, Corn Muffin).
I started out strong and actually feeling really good. Better than last NCAR stage. I crushed Front Porch, staying right on Erik's feet (I mean RIGHT on him, haha). Erik passed DG and I tried to but he got in front again when the angle eased up a bit. Stefan and DG got on the rap lines, while Erik, I and Colin right behind me did the downclimb. I probably did the downclimb in PR time but I probably still held up Colin a bit.
DG passed us again going up on the connection to Mallory Cave Trail. He said something like, "Downclimbing is unfair!" as he cruised by us. I responded, "Talk about unfair!" and Colin shot back, "You're not supposed to have breath right now!"
I hit a vertical wall on the hike up to Sunnyside. I mean a wall. I couldn't go uphill for the life of me. I kept Colin behind me for a bit, but he had so much breath he said, "How's school going?" and "How's Mom?" I couldn't believe it! I was absolutely maxed and dying. He passed me before the rock.
On the rock I had to hold off Dan V who was raging up to me. I did only to the Hand, where he passed me taking a better line. Also on the Hand we could all see Cordis, who was basically up with Colin... What?? I'll have to read what went wrong in his report. :)
Dan started gapping me while I now had to hold off Sir Crimps and Corn Muffin. I reeled Dan in a bit when Crimps got too close for my comfort, and then I almost caught up when I did the Hand ramp descent while he did the hole crawl. He got some more space on Fi though and Crimps and Cornmuffin were still right there.
At the top of the raps Dan and I had to wait for DG who was being careful getting set up with the anchor below him. I fully support! Dan got the fast rope and was right above DG on the way down. I knew Dan would likely get off the skinny rope first, so I waited on it. At this point Crimps was next in line, then Cornmuffin, followed by Marsters. I zipped down my skinny and was off.
I second guessed the way over to the Box (I went the right way originally, then backtracked and started going the wrong way), and ended up basically stopping until Crimps caught up and pointed me the right way. I followed him up the Box with CornMuffin now right on me. Vinson had passed DG.
I had Corn right on me on the descent and we caught up to Crimps with DG not far ahead. Crimps let me pass and then I caught up nicely to DG, basically right in time for him to miss the Der Zerkle climbing trail and for me to drop down it. He cut over quickly though and I was only ahead of him for about 20-30 seconds before I made a small mistake and he retook the lead.
As soon as we hit the regular trail I said "Bye, David!" There was a pause and then he came back with "Yup, see ya later!" :) I actually stayed pretty close to him on the more rocky part of the trail but by the time we got to smooth stuff he was gone and passing Dan. I closed on Dan until the same point, and then I tried hard on the rollers, but just couldn't bring him in. I had John A and Crimps all but beaten, though, which was good. Corn was pretty close to me heading up the last rock steps but I probably got him by ~30 seconds or something. Dan V got me by 34 too.
Super fun course. Hurts SO bad. :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Tour de Flatirons: Stage 3

Bowling Ball Scrambling on the First Flatiron (The Colonel, Nodin de Noggin, Colin, Herr Griebel, Ultra Lee, Deisel)

Kid Kyle did it again. And in doing so, he also broke 10 minutes for the 10-12 pitch, 800-vertical-foot Direct East Face of the First Flatiron. That's just plain ridiculous. And Hall and Oats and the Bearded Shirtless Wonder were right on him. They put a nice gap into the rest of the field and that would have been the podium except that Shirtless dude, who seems to live in the Flatirons, get this, got lost! That allowed Hans and Franz to nab his first podium in a couple of years. He used to live on that podium. Heck, he even left this toothbrush there, he was there so often.

Gory Killer, the Modern Major General, Newguydanus, and General Lee were sprinkled behind the leaders and gapping the main peloton. The rest of the field were locked into countless mini battles with some exciting position changes. I took my usual position towards the back. I was exercising my strategy of letting the guys in front tire themselves out. Or tip over. Seriously. Guys like Clemmensen, Mt. Vinson, Blanchard, and The Colonel are so top heavy with muscles, I'm surprised they can stay upright. While someone like myself, with the ideal center of mass created by my fat reserves around my waist, is very stable. I'm like Weeble. Except that I keep falling over because my ankles are made of balsa wood.

I'm getting a bit worried that Sheri might think something is up with Sonia and me, as we appear to be nearly inseparable during a stage. When I want to attract women, like to fill the field at the Ramble, I get bupkis. When I want to repel them, it's like I'm suddenly Brad Pitt. Sonia would say, "Hey, I don't like being near you at all. You stink, you know. It's horrible back here. I'm just trying to get by." But who you gonna believe?

I tripped on the approach to the First and Sonia nearly ran me over. I rolled out of the neatly and she roared by with inches to spare. I executed one of those Ninja moves to get back on my feet and sprinted after her. Too bad we don't have video footage of this. Impressive stuff. At the base of the First Flatiron I look up and see it completely swarmed with wanna-be-scramblers Minion runners, clogging up my favorite line. I cruised up the start, passing Jon O's, I think. I couldn't tell. I moved to the left and started paddling up a line I'd never taken before. Momentum helped stick me to the rock but a couple of minor foot slips focused me right quick. I had Sonia in tow and didn't want to take her with me should I slide down. Dammit, woman, get in behind those other Minions on the proper line!

I merged into my favorite line above, having passed a few other Minions. Sonia veered even further to the left. Alas, I'm free! I think I passed Mt. Vinson near here and he said, "I was wondering when you were going to come by." There's a novel thought to be sure. Not many people wonder this about me, as I don't usual pass anyone. But I know the First Flatiron. I know it very well. Sure, not like Stefan, who I'm absolutely sure could climb this rock blindfolded. I couldn't walk to my own bathroom blindfolded.

I got up to the tree at the top of the first pitch and veered further left on my standard route and there's BRB back in her usual spot, three feet behind me! It went that way all the way up to the top. The usual massive pain in my lungs and legs. I had to get to the rappel lines before her. If I have any advantage it is sliding down a rope. I don't need any fitness or skill. Just mass. And I've got that. Perfectly distributed, as previously discussed. At the summit I find Captain Koch is hanging off the side of the cliff, holding out a free line to me. I'd given the riggers explicit instructions to keep a line free for me. I was on it in a flash and the Captain checked my rappel device, while I hastily pulled on my glove. I was away in seconds and on the ground 20 seconds later and bouncing down the trail until the rope pulled free of my device, passing Sir Crimps-alot in the process. BRB, so out of oxygen that she forgot how to put her rappel device on the rope and had to re-do, fell back.

I dashed down the trail to the Sunset Flatironette and then down the climbers' trail towards the Second Flatiron. Crimps was closing fast and I stepped aside to let him pass. I didn't want to push the pace too much here for fear of snapping the balsa. I followed him to the base of the South Sneak, all the while with my ears pricked up like a Boston Terrier listening for signs of a beet red Irish crusher.
I fell in line behind Crimps on the climb. He veered to the right, on the correct route (kudos to him for that), and I followed the easier, shorter line of least resistance - the Modern Major General variation. When Crimps traversed back over, he was just above me and I was doing my best Sonia impersonation following him.

Just before the last piece of the Second, I took a new variation to the right, lower, and slipped in front of Crimps. I didn't expect to stay there, as he's a faster runner, but thought I might be able to hold it until the top of the Sunset Flatironette. I executed the top section quickly and got a 20-second gap on him by the summit. There I found a traffic jam. David "Crazy Fast" Glennon was demonstrating that vertical downclimbing is not the same as road running. Alexander The Not-As-Great-As-I-Previously-Thought and the Little Monster were there observing this demonstration. Normally, I'd fall into line as well, but I had a bogie on my tail. I downclimbed more directly, hoping to bypass the jam, but it was too radical and I traversed back almost getting in front of the Little Monster, but he's wiley and agile and I got pinched off. Once on the ground, those three gapped me nicely, as I did my usual water buffalo impersonation along the trail and through the woods to the base of the Sunset Flatironette.

Glennon stepped aside there and the Great and the Monster went by, but I was too far back. I caught Glennon on an easy section of this rock and paddled by him ferociously, instructing him not to let Sir Crimps-alot by. The Monster felt me coming and I could hear him above urging on the Great: "Come on, man, they're coming!" I had just enough breath to respond, "Easy up there. Don't rush him." The Great was on one of the crux sections of Sunset and needed to take it carefully. In fact, everyone did such a great job of slowing down and being solid when they needed to be and everyone just fell in line and let them work it out (if they couldn't find a way around). Alas, I gassed myself passing Glennon and the Great and the Monster pulled away nicely, with the Monster passing the Great and disappearing from my view for the rest of the stage.

Glennon proved a nice buffer between me and Sir Crimps-alot. Previously, I assumed he'd run by me on the long descent, but now, finally, I was full-on racing him. It's only legal to race two other people in the Boulder City Open Space and now I was racing the Great and Sir Crimps-lot. Game on, youngsters (we old people can call anyone a youngster).

I topped Sunset and scrambled off the backside to the old "trail" leading down to the Saddle Rock Trail. I could see The Great ahead of me and, remarkably, I wasn't losing ground. Joe Grant was back here and he urged me on. I was carefully picking my way down the technical terrain, trying so hard not to twist my ankle, moving at approximately the pace of my mother-inlaw with her bum foot, but actually on the edge of my control. I think at one point Joe was just walking along next to me checking his social media feeds on his phone.

Down on the trail, I started to close the gap to The Great. I knew I had little chance of passing him and wouldn't be able to once we hit the rock, but my biggest concern was Sir Crimps-alot. I didn't dare look back for fear of tripping but not terrier ears were on red alert for any footfalls. At the base of the last scramble, the Second Pinnacle, was Lady Crimps-alot her the 3-year-old lad Owen. The tyke cheered on the Great and I, not knowing we were putting the hurt on daddy. Thanks, kid.

In the chimney, the Great is fading and I'm so close behind him that I'm giving his butt a boost with my head. He cramps up on the move to the right and. As we pause to let the muscle release, Sir Crimps-alot arrives at the base, ready to slay any dragons above. Ack! Now it was my turn to urge on the Great. Above, still cramping, he graciously stepped aside and let me pass. I motored on up to the summit, hurting so badly, but nearly ready to do a Cordis-style jumping descent to maintain my position. Instead, I made myself slow down and be solid on the descent. I had slipped at the very bottom of this descent on a preview (with Sir Crimps-lot, as it turned out) and nearly had a nasty fall. As I started down, I could see the Little Monster finishing up the descent. There would be no catching him. I was solid and made the ground safely. I hurried down the gradual switchbacks and back onto the Amphitheater Trail for the final run out, finally secure that I wouldn't be passed.

So ridiculously funny! I didn't think it could get better after Stage 2, but this was even more fun for me, probably because it played more to my strengths.

Derek's report:
The race was just so good, as always. Though I’m disappointed Stefan and Colin couldn’t have gotten off-route again for me... selfish... smh.
Still, I had a good race with Ryan Monster and David Alexander, spiced with David Glennon and The Colonel Sanders.
Ryan and David hounded me on the First, passing just on the edge of out of sight, while I barely held off Sir Crimps. Connor Koch gave some sweet rope courtesy for the rappel and I was down quick and hot in pursuit. I passed Ryan once we hit the gully proper. Then I passed David A only to immediately go off route, got passed, then passed again shortly before the 2nd. I managed to hold off my chasers in the second, and passed David G at a tricky traverse section where I went higher. He apologized but I said there was no problem.
Higher up Ryan and David were chatting it up, wasting breath being nice to each other and me. I mustered some response but was more occupied with hurting.
I gapped them over to Sunset, and then caught up to Erik S on the upper part. He had gone right where I go left, so I said I didn’t know where to go other than stay left. I still managed to overshoot the steep jug move and quickly Erik was by me again.
I had a rough time linking to Saddle Rock. I looked a pretty big rock and stopped to make sure it wouldn’t move more. It didn’t get going very fast. I just felt slow. Erik was gone as soon as he hit the descent. I got to the chimneys and luckily had put some more time on my chasers. I summitted T2 and could see Erik on the down climb, but again, as soon as he touched dirt he was out of sight. Boy can move.
Danny's report:
I self identify as a climber, and have never enjoyed running. In high school track, I did the jumping events and would go to great lengths to avoid even the warm up runs. Yet, clearly it’s time to embrace this shit. This stage simply had too much climbing for me to have any sort of advantage. Of course, that’s mostly because the other guys I’m racing are all really really really fast on these rocks!
I trotted to the 1st with control and poise, getting there just behind world class David Glennon. Then things went sort of to shit for some reason. I made an altogether sketchy pass of David and nearly lost control of both feet. After a second I collected myself and got my head straight. I punched out a pretty solid (for me) lap on the first. I wish I would’ve taken a split as it was almost certainly a PR. Alas watch buttons are a far cry from feasible in the midst of a tour stage. Despite the good jaunt, Ryan passed me at the party ledge.
Stefan, as I had expected, was right on my ass for most of the 1st despite me beating him to the rock by a healthy margin. He’s done our most famous rock faster than anybody else in the race though, so I knew he would catch me here. When we got into the DC I thought I might get treated to a show, with him perhaps jumping clean over me or something crazy. Thankfully it didn’t come to that and I managed to hold a slight lead.
I kept expecting to catch Ryan any second, but every time I looked up he seemed further, or I would maybe glimpse Kilgore instead. By the time I saw him DC-ing sunset in the all too distant horizon, I knew the race was over for me. Now I just had to make sure I beat Stefan.
On the run to tower 2 I started to hear somebody catching me up and thought “ah shit, Stefan!” In the chimney I hear “Danny!” And look down and it’s actually Tony Krupicka. He fucked up S Sneak something fierce, and ended up doing FFA. Obviously this did not give him any sort of advantage. He passed me on the climb but as he clogged the upper chimney briefly I had a second to look down. Ah shit! “Eric is that you!?!” Yep, Eric Lee ladies and gentleman, he of sub 5m miles was now right behind me! Well needless to say I didn’t fuck around much on the run out. Barely squeaked it.
I honestly had a pretty good performance today, so it really just comes down to an altogether stellar performance by Ryan who, I think snagged 3rd. This stage pulled out all the stops. An absolutely all time linkup. In the lot I couldn’t help but marvel that 2 years ago sub 60m on just the first was a big deal. Me and about 10 other guys just got sub 60m on the first, second, sunset, and 2nd pinnacle! What a bunch of freaks!

Sonia's report:
Painful approach to the first, pretended to be Bill's shadow as per usual. 
Felt pretty good on DEF, took some weird variation on the start behind Bill that let us pass a bunch of people. Usually rapping is my best ability but this time I managed to put my rappel device on backwards and had to take it out and then got tangled in the other line on the way down, losing sight of Bill on the way.
Found the base of SS pretty good, getting some good vibes from a barefoot Adrian on the way up. I started catching up to some people but then got confused on the Pullman car and chimneyed up the side of it, arriving on the downclimb ledge. Tagged the summit then went back down and got kind of confused on the way to chase the sun, mainly bushwhacking down the hill through large boulders.
Too many o's was catching up to me the whole way up Sunset as I took every single tiny summit on the way up and had to reverse several times. Happily, I met the spirit of David Glennon at the top of Sunset and he guided me down the hillside until we got to the trail. I caught Glennon again on the second pinnacle but wasn't able to return him the guiding favor since I made the climbing look pretty hard and he took a different way.
All in all a successful outing!

Full Results:

Need some more times...

Stage 1: Slab to Fiddlehead to OnocleaStage 2: Front Porch to Angels Way to Hillbilly RockStage 3: DEF on First Flatiron to South Sneak on Second Flatiron to Chasing the Sun on Sunset Flatironette to South Face of Pinnacle Two
Kyle "I Didn't Run in HS" Richardson10:46:5510:46:3310:46:46
Cordis Hall "and Oats"30:49:35160:59:4520:51:48
Ryan "Hans and" Franz70:56:0660:51:1630:54:11
Jason "Halloween" Killgore130:57:5520:48:3440:55:24
Logan Newguydanus50:50:4040:50:2650:55:55
Anton "Overtrain" Krupicka40:49:509960:56:09
Danny Gilbert "and Sullivan Modern Major General"60:55:3250:51:0270:56:52
Eric Lee "I Play the Cowbell Roth"80:56:2530:49:5680:57:25
Stefan "Herr" Griebel90:56:48100:57:3590:58:44
Colin Simon "and Garfunkel"151:00:40150:59:23100:59:16
Nodin de "Noggin" Saillan271:07:56201:02:23111:00:30
Erik "The Colonel" Sanders120:57:2870:56:43121:02:51
Derek "Deisel" Wright181:01:2680:57:13131:03:16
Ryan "The Litlle Monster" Marsters191:02:28221:03:42141:04:35
Bill "Satan" Wright231:06:02191:00:30151:05:34
David Alexander "the Great"171:01:18110:57:57161:06:00
Sir Brian Crim"ps A Lot"211:04:39130:58:25171:06:24
Sonia "Beet Red" Buckley261:07:25211:03:06181:08:49
Jon "I like o's" Oulton251:06:55231:04:20191:10:11
Dan "Mount" Vinson362:15:12140:58:55201:10:19
John Alcorn "Muffin Top"241:06:35181:00:01211:10:34
Zach "The Spy" Ryerson281:08:10301:15:12221:11:22
David & Glennon"ith"141:00:22120:58:20231:12:54
Brendan "I'm no Barry" Blanchard301:13:54251:05:04241:14:33
Angela "I'll Report My Time When I'm Good and Ready" Tomczik291:11:21261:06:19251:17:28
Rush "To Judgement" Combs99341:45:09261:30:01
"Turn the" Page Weil311:20:27321:27:03271:33:00
Darren "Freezeway" Smith331:20:39331:29:30281:33:10
Derek "I love e's" Clemmensen161:00:4190:57:20#VALUE!?
Brian "I Race With A Backpack" Lehman352:04:45311:16:49#VALUE!?
Max "Jonathon Livingston" Seigal9999#VALUE!?
Maury "The Bird Is the Word" Birdwell9999#VALUE!?